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Duyen_the_Great
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Name: de
Birthday: 8/27/1986
Gender: Female
Interests: life, psychos, psychology, and world domination and/or destruction... photography, social work
Expertise: being a superhero.
Occupation: Retired
Message: message me
Member Since:
8/17/2005
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| Breaking up isn't easy and it's definitely not a happy event... at least not for me. Trying to keep busy seems to help but I still constantly think of him, what was, and what could have been if none of this happened. Everything in my head is just swimming with "what ifs." Having been deceived from the beginning makes me wonder if I have finally found out the true reason for the demise of our relationship or if it is still all a lie.
That doesn't matter anymore right? It is over. To think I even tried to educate myself reading books and other avenues of advice about how to salvage a hopeless relationship... all in vain when it is one sided. It takes two to tango. I was missing my partner... the partner who was never there to begin with.
Goodbye my almost lover. | | |
| Whatever you deal upon someone else, will be dealt upon you in time.
You may be happy and free from burden and pain for now but...
I'd hate to be in your shoes when that time eventually comes.
You are nobody to me.
You no longer mean a thing.
You are a speck of dust unworthy of even being swept away.
Revenge is when I can look at you and see nothing but emptiness...
nothing I would ever want.
You undeserving bastard.
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| If there's anything I'm truly guilty of, it's loving too much.
BUT life goes on and time will eventually heal all wounds.
And you will fade.
For now, I am broken.
And for now, the river flows.
But you'll think of me now, tomorrow, and forever.
--
In the words of Keith Urban:
Take your records, take your freedom
Take your memories I don't need'em
Take your space and take your reasons
But you'll think of me
And take your cat and leave my sweater
'Cause we have nothing left to weather
In fact I'll feel a whole lot better
But you'll think of me
Someday I'm gonna run across your mind
Don't worry, I'll be fine
I'm gonna be alright
While you're sleeping with your pride
Wishing I could hold you tight
I'll be over you
And on with my life | | |
| "Do unto others as you would want done unto you."
I've noticed there's been a slight increase as of late in the number of "rule breakers." Maybe because I feel as if it is happening to me more and more. I've always thought it was a good rule to live by but never really thought much of it or applied it to myself (maybe you just have to grow into it as you get older - I mean, come on, we're all pretty selfish (to a degree) during our growing years - no??). I'm glad to know (and say) that these days, it's one of the rules I pride myself for living by but I'll be the first (or last) to say that it's definitely not easy... especially in relationships... or should I say in new relationships (long distance especially). It's already difficult as it is trying to make it work but when one person gives more than the other, it makes the whole shebang even more difficult. It makes the person giving more to wonder why and whether or not s/he's trying too hard or giving too much (among other things). And honestly, it makes that person wonder if they're being taking for granted. Relationships shouldn't be that way. If two people want to be together, the "want" should be equal - it's not fair to give so much and receive only half back. I give 100 percent, I expect that much in return. And no, I don't think that's too much to ask of anyone. Maybe my expectations of people are too high but do you really want to lower your standards just because some don't live up to it? I give you a firm, "No."
Speaking up is only half the battle. You can't make someone do something they don't want to. Who knows, maybe it just takes a little time for both people to be on the same page. One can only hope.
I deserve better. And so does everyone.
P.S. Fuck you my new lovely neighbors. I hope you realize it's nearly midnight on a WEEK NIGHT. I may be the same age as you but fuck, I've got work in the early morning as do most people twice our ages who share a fucking PAPER-THIN wall with you. If you could be so kind as to shut the fuck up and turn off your offensive music so that I may sleep in peace, that would be absolutely FANNNNTASTIC. You wouldn't want me to raid your home when you're gone and fuck up your "studio" would you? I didn't think so. | | |
| So here's a chain note that's been passed around Facebook like a virus. I figured I'd post it on Xanga as well seeing as how it's so interesting! Haha, JK but do enjoy. I'm supposed to tag people to do it too but I don't know too many people on Xanga. I'd love to read them if you do decide to do it yourself! :)
• I own more pairs of shoes/sandals than there are States. Pregnancy better not swell my feet permanently… $%^&!
• Sometimes I’m the biggest pussy ever. Case in point: I gave my dad a week’s notice about my move to Austin and told my mom about it the night I arrived… she was in Canada.
• Skydiving and bungee jumping – two things I’d love to do sometime in the future although I’d be scared shitless. I kid you not, you may see both piss and shit stains soiling my pants but it’d be one hell of an experience (or it better be).
• I’ve often thought about traveling and working around the world just to experience different cultures even if it’s working in the slums or at other odd jobs. Country hopping really. Still thinking about it.
• I’ve always wanted a big family. I call it my retirement plan. I’m not raising 15 children without at least getting a grand from each of them every month for retirement… evil I know.
• Biggest fault thus far: blurting out my thoughts before thinking it through. Some people have experienced and can attest to this… I think I’ve offended some (ok many) people for life.
• Many people have told me that if I put my mind to it, I’ll more than accomplish it… but I always think otherwise and therefore almost never attempt anything (or just do it halfway). Yet another fault.
• People annoy me very… VERY easily but I love them anyway.
• I’ve seriously put thought into becoming a sex therapist. There are only two schools in the US that offer it if my memory serves me correctly. Yes, I did really look it up. Imagine me telling my parents this.
• Jeans galore! Need I say more?
• The one abstract painting I attempted went from having an old man with a child next to him to a penis with a child next to it… it’s all perspective. Really, it is.
• I harbor a secret desire to be well known for something… anything amazing.
• I secretly envy those who aren’t artistically/musically challenged (i.e. writing, painting, singing, dancing, acting, designing, playing piano, violin, etc).
• One time in HS, I smacked into a pole outside in the school parking lot just as the bell rang and everyone was trickling out. Smooth. Another time I drove and knocked over a handicapped parking pole in the same school parking lot (it was a hit & run, sorry SHHS... sorta). The ongoing joke after that was “What’s next? The dance pole?” Bastards.
• To this day, I still don’t think I deserved my HS diploma or Social Work degree. It was too smooth of a ride…
• That one day when I surpass the 100 lbs mark, I will bawl my eyes dry and diet. JK.
• I enjoy driving (while jamming to uber loud music) and truly look forward to my three hour drives to and from home (with caffeine that is).
• Peeing is a waste of time… but a necessary evil. Holding it too long creates problems… like that one UTI mother nature decided I should have because I refused to pee for a full day.
• I have only one baby picture and it wasn’t even that. I was about two and very angry. Thanks mom. You could have at least made me smile.
• If there were a burping contest, I’d kick some serious ass. Yea, try me 500 lb man.
• To prevent me from wandering off back in the day, my wonderful mom took it upon herself to tie me to a table leg. If CPS existed in Vietnam, they’d have just laughed and walked away. Or they probably did.
• I can’t swim but I’ve had my share of falling into streams as a child. I blame my brother for pushing me over the edge in our younger years… I was the only one that ever fell among our group of retarded children.
• I’m currently learning sign language in hopes that it’ll turn out better than my attempt at learning Spanish.
• I own two gigantic coloring books: Sesame Street & Care Bears. Yes, I bought them just a year ago and yes, I do still color. It’s relaxing and fun, ok?!
• People think I’ll tell my clients to jump off a bridge or throw them out the 33rd floor window if I ever become a psychologist. Just b/c I’m ruthless and honest to a fault doesn’t mean any of that... You people… *disgusted*
And to make it even more funner by being a rule breaker:
• I was told I ate my own shit as a baby. It was in Vietnam during times of cloth diapers… AND I was stuck in the crib all day long. Can you really blame me? | | |
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